I find it can be hard sometimes to allow people to BE where they are…especially if they are in pain or suffering. I have such a passionate desire to fix, to help and to make everything better.
I desire peace and harmony for all so it is in my nature to immediately help to alleviate any pressure or pain for another person.
I have noticed several things with being an eternal caretaker and peacemaker- I have noticed how helpful and healing it can be to the recipient
I have noticed how good I am at that role and how others validate that and keep looking to me to help and they TRUST me to help.
I have noticed how their pain subsides, their confidence increases, hope is restored and transformation occurs as new options suddenly present themselves.
I have noticed how people gain their “life back” by working with me.
I have noticed how it can drain me IF I try to “do someone’s work for them” and take responsibility for something that is really NOT my responsibility.
I have noticed how tired I get, how overwhelmed I become if I OVER give my time, love and resources.
Basically, I have noticed that if I am not present and grounded in taking care of ME then I tend to over-do, over correct and get burned out very quickly as I am taking care of others whether it is my children, family, husband, clients etc. It shows up in my life by me being short-tempered, being super anxious and worried (not seeing solutions but seeing a lot of chaos), it shows up by eating tons of sugar.
I am still learning how to manage being loving and helpful and kind, while also loving and caring for myself.
I am still learning HOW to ground, stay centered and take care of myself.
I am still learning how to slow down, and not get overwhelmed with time.
I am learning to love and trust: God, myself, and learning to trust others are EXACTLY where they need to be.
I do not have to do the work for them, I can lovingly be present and humbly assist, but not fix them without effort on their part also.
We have a family hand signal. It is something that we created to help our son, Whitt, feel grounded and safe as his world sometimes can get overwhelming with not being able to communicate with others. Living with apraxia has taught us all so much. It is a reminder of how with TRUST, LOVE, and EQUAL partnership, we can allow for the present reality to be there but with this deep sense of safety that all is really and truly OK.
I decided because of this self-exploration of wanting to keep learning how to care for me to embark on a 3 week Cleanse for my mind, body, and spirit.
I decided to open this up to some of my trusted companions so together we can support each other, learn to trust and to love. Learn to accept ourselves JUST as we are right now, flaws and all but with the understanding we all are trying and desiring to dream big and move forward.
You are welcome also if it feels right. I hear and see you, eternal careGIVERS. I feel your overwhelm, the endless to-do list, the struggle with time management the anxiety and the exhausted crash that happens. I have discovered there are other ways and there is help for all of us.